She Flies With Her Own Wings

So, I think that if you asked people for their SUCKIEST Monday stories and compared them to mine? I’d win. Hands down.

It all started on Sunday. No hot water. Fine. Last night, learn that there’s 4″ of water in the basement, the sump pump isn’t working and that the water made the pilot light go out. Get the sump pump working, takes 1-hour for the water to leave. Still no hot water. Fine. Go to bed.

Wake up almost 2-hours later (who am I kidding, I wasn’t sleeping) to my tabby cat attacking something. Turn on the light and she’s killed . . . wait for it . . . a . . . BAT! Fuck.

I end up capturing the dying bat in a Gladware container. Then I call the ER. Seems I have to go in and update my rabies vaccine (need an update? go here). Two hours later, I’m home and unable to sleep. Finally get some sleep. Call work, there ain’t no way I’m going in today.

Okay, water. Call NiSource, they won’t talk to me ’cause I’m not the “account holder.” Fine. Call dad. He calls. They’re supposed to come out sometime today. Vague that up for ya, huh? Call animal control, learn cat needs to go in to get her rabies updated and that if the bat HAS rabies she’ll be quarantined for 90-days. Lovely. Call vet, get her in. Fish & game are coming by to get the bat, which has to be . . . wait for it . . . kept cold, so they can test it for rabies. I’ll get the results on Thursday, after I’m to get my 2nd shot on Wednesday.

Want a recap? No hot H2O, flooded basement, possible rabid bat, ER visit, shots, vet, more shots

And, I forgot the RUDENESS at the ER. Later. I’m hungry and have a headache.

Meanwhile, the bravest one in my house? This little kitty who took down the “flying rodent” to save her mom. Love this kitty!

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she’s in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won’t keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it’s all you’re running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We’d never know what’s wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you’ve started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it’s all you’re running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

My mother would tell you that all I need to do to find someone is a little exposure. Ahem. Since she and my father moved to Illinois, I’d like to say that I have increased my exposure. Knit girls, after hours events for work, match.com, movies with friends, etc. She seems to think it’s as easy as being seen for it to happen. This is the same woman who met my father in Pizza Hut (it was also a bar) and had lived in the same town, down the same street, as the man she married. Me? I’ve lived all over and never had a real lasting, adult relationship with any man/guy/boy I’ve dated. I’ve dated, somewhat, but based on the lack of maturity or the over abundance of anger and wanting to direct it toward me, those relationships have not lasted.

I recently went out a few times with a guy here in Dover, NH. Very nice, smart, funny, good looking guy. Kept saying things like “on our 2nd date” and “we have to go here sometime” and “i’ll call you/we’ll talk soon.” His schedule got “busy.”

Attention men — busy is another way to say ASSHOLE. All women are aware of this. And most will respond thusly, “I already have one, and I don’t need to date another.”

He has apologized to me constantly. Whatever. Says in his profile that he would never disrespect you ’cause his mom would give him hell. Makes me want to find out his last name so I can call his momma and have her give him a what-for for this shit.

I made myself into a DOORMAT for Matt last year, got walked all over. I finally got up and shook myself off.  I then went out with Richard who essentially told me my job was funny and job #2 was dumb. Adios Richard. Then came this guy. This guy has been “busy” (read: ASSHOLE) and the other “cute/funny/smart” guys on Match.com have all become “busy.”

If you’re all going to be such ASSHOLES, then no exposure in the world will ever solve my singledom status.

Fuckers.

Remember when you would make a wish before blowing out the candles on your birthday cake, thinking if you told no one and you got all the candles out that your wish would come true? Or that if you saw a falling star and made a wish it would happen? How about at the first star you saw? When the clock hits the palindrome numbers (11:11, 12:12, 8:08, etc.)?

Remember how everything seemed to be hung on a hope, a wish and a prayer?

Yeah.

Now, when you finally realize that it’s all for shit, that wishes DON’T come true and all that shit up above? It’s just shit to make you feel better about the crap we all deal with in life. “Oh, you’re having a SUCKY day? Make a wish on a star, it’ll come true.” You’d have a better chance at being STRUCK DEAD BY LIGHTNING than having a wish come true. It’s all shit. You don’t believe me? Not once, not ever, has one of my wishes come true. In nearly 31 years, it’s never come about. Why start believing now? It’ll just be better to let you all in on the secret I’ve discovered — it ain’t gonna happen. No way, no how. Get used to the shit happening, ’cause it ain’t going away.

And the post 2 down from here? The stupid, f*ing wish post? Don’t believe it.

It seems like everyone knows someone who is pregnant, or just had a baby, or wants a baby. And I started evaluating my feelings on children, ’cause it seems there are those out there who believe that we’re all here just to procreate, and that’s all well and good. But what about those of us in our 30s who have no desire to have children? I see kids out with their parents in stores, restaurants, etc., and I think they’re somewhat cute, but do I want one of my own someday? I don’t think so, though that may change. It’s just I don’t feel that need for a child. My clock? May be ticking, but I don’t hear it.

make a wish … and place it in your heart.

do you have it?

anything your want, EVERYTHING you want

do you have it?

good - now believe it can come true.

you never know where the next miracle is going to come from … the next smile … the next wish coming true.

but if you believe that it’s right around the corner, and if you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it … to the certainty of it … you might just get the thing you’re wishing for.

the world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it.

so make your wish …

do you have it?

good - now BELIEVE in it … with ALL of your heart.